Moving on to adoption, the primary topic of my blog, my hubby and I are almost 1 year into the process from when we started our home study. It sounds strange but I actually enjoyed the home study process. Getting to talk about what my hubby and I loved about each other, what types of parenting techniques we wanted to use and hearing more about how each other was raised was very insightful and I believe brought us even closer together. The downside was all of the paperwork we had to do and by all I mean TONS and TONS!
When we first started our journey, we were set on adopting a child, up to age 4, from Bulgaria. Why Bulgaria? We’re asked that a lot and really the answer is there aren’t a lot of international countries anymore and Russia and Bulgaria have the shortest wait periods but Bulgaria is cheaper and tends to have less fetal alcohol issues in their children (so we’ve heard). We then attended PRIDE, a mandatory adoption education course that’s 27 hours. Wow, 27 hours you’re saying? Sounds grueling, doesn’t it? Well it may make the difference between my husband and I dealing with adoption all wrong to now being able to handle numerous situations, including how to talk to your kids about being adopted and how parenting an adoptive child IS different than parenting a biological one. We also discovered that we wanted to try private adoption in Ontario so we could get a newborn and so the child could have the potential of an open adoption with his/her biological family.
Fast forward to now, November, and our path has changed yet again. We are now in the process of getting approved for public adoption – adoption through the Children’s Aid Society. The reality is private adoption is heartbreaking and the #s of babies being adopted privately is really dwindling (and it’s expensive). We’ve made it to the top 2 two times now and then weren’t chosen by the birth parents – not to mention the fact that birth parents have 28 days after the child is born to change their minds. I believe birth parents should have this right, it’s just heartbreaking for the adoptive family, esp. if it happens a few days after the baby is born.
At the end of the day the waiting process is difficult no matter which option we choose and to be honest, we just want a child and it doesn’t matter where they come to us from. We just have lots and lots of love to give!